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Just A Little Cajun Humor



YOU MIGHT BE A CAJUN IF YOU START AN ANGEL FOOD CAKE WITH A ROUX...

South Louisiana Cajuns (Acadians) are a very unique culture, best known for their food, music, and joy of life.


YOU MIGHT BE A CAJUN IF...

  • Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.
  • You won't eat a lobster because you think it's a crawfish on steriods.
  • You take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for some Tabasco.
  • You pass up a chance to meet the president to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.
  • Your children's favorite bedtime story begins with, "First you make a roux..."
  • You're asked in school to name the four seasons and you reply, "Onyons, celery, bell peppers, and garlic."
  • You think the "Fab Four" are "Paul Prudhomme, John Folse, Justin Wilson, and A.J. Smith".
  • You let your black coffee cool and find it has gelled.
  • You describe a complete breakfast as some deer sasuage and a yard of boudin.
  • None of your favorite vacation spots are north of Abbeville.
  • You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and someone says, "Don't eat the dead ones" and you know what they mean.
  • You refer to Louisiana winters as "gumbo weather"
  • You gave up Tabasco for Lent.
  • You learned bourre' the hard way - holding yourself upright in the crib.
  • You don't know the real names of your close friends - only their nicknames.
  • You can look at a rice field and can tell how much gravey it'll take for that much rice.
  • Your high school's rendition of the national anthem begins with, "Jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo..."
  • You stand up when they play "Jolie Blon."
  • You consider Breaux Bridge the state capitol.
  • You think the Mason-Dixon line is at Bunkie.


THE CAJUN TEN COMMANDMENTS

(unaltered original version found in Deut 5:6-12)

  • 1. Jus be one God in dat Heaven!
  • 2. Don't be having no idols.
  • 3. Don't be cussin' at nobody.
  • 4. Brought yo-self to church when dey open da doors.
  • 5. Listen to you maw-maw an' paw-paw.
  • 6. Don't be kilt nobody.
  • 7. Ma chere, don't sleep wit yo brother's wife.
  • 8. Don't go took nothin' from nobody.
  • 9. Always told da whole troot.
  • 10. Don't go wish fo yo' neighbor's pirogue or tings.


 

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were were going hunting when they came to a fork in the road and a sign that said "BEAR LEFT."   They turned around and went home.


 

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were walking through the woods the other day, when a flying saucer landed near them. A door opened, and two little green aliens climbed down out of the spacecraft. 

Thibodeaux turned to Boudreaux, "Mais, look at dat. What you tink dat is?"  

Boudreaux, aiming his shotgun at the little space critters, replied, "Thibodeaux, I don' know, but you hurry back to de camp, put on de rice pot, and start makin' a roux! 

 


 

Boudreaux spotted Thibodeaux walking down the levee the other day, carrying a sack over his shoulder.  Well, of course, curiosity got the best of Boudreaux, and he asked Thibodeaux, "Hey, Mon Homme, what you got in dat sack ?" 

Thibodeaux said, "Mais, I got me some chickens in dat sack." 

Boudreaux asked, "If I can guess how many chickens you got in dat sack, can I have one of dem?"

Thibodeaux replied, "Mais, my fren, if you can guess how many I got, you can have both of dem!"

 


 

After he was dead, a Cajun discovered himself in Hell. He looked around awhile, then went right to work shoveling brimstone. The devil came up to him and said, "How you like it here, my friend? It's hard work and it's hot, yeah?"

The Cajun just smiled and answered, "It not so bad. The work is steady. I got no problem with steady work. And it ain't so hot. You think this is hot? Man, I'm from south Lousiana --- It hot there, my fren! This ain't nothing." He just laughed and went back to work singing and having a high old time.

Satan, being a former Texan, did not like Cajuns. He said to himself, "I'll get him. So he don't mind the hot, huh?" Satan waved a hand and the whole place was suddenly ice and snow, solid. And he said, "That'll fix dat fool!" 

When he went back to check on the Cajun, he found him jumping up and yelling and laughing and clapping and dancing. So Satan said, "Man, what's wrong with you?!" 

The Cajun smiled big and replied, "The Saints done won the Super Bowl!

 


 

Boudreaux was sitting in the City Bar in Maurice, Louisiana, one Saturday night, and had several beers under his belt. After a while, he looked at the guy sitting next to him, and asked him, "Hey, you wanna hear a good Aggie joke, you?" 

The big guy replied, "Let me tell you something. I'm an oil field roughneck, I weigh 270 pounds, and I don't like Cajuns. My buddy here is a pro football player, weighs 300 pounds, and he doesn't like Cajuns either. His friend on his other side is a professional wrestler, weighs 320 pounds, always has a chip on his shoulder, and he likes Cajuns even less than we do, and we are all Aggies. Do you really want to tell us an Aggie joke ?" 

Boudreaux, all 150 pounds of Cajun attitude, told him, "Mais, I guess not. After all I don't want have to explain it three times ! 

 


 

Boudreaux won $10 million in the Louisiana lottery last week. Bright and early the next morning, he got in his Country Cadillac, and drove all the way to Baton Rouge to collect his money. When he walked in, he told the lottery man, "Hey, I'm Boudreaux, the lottery winner, and I'm here to collect my money!"

The lottery man said, "Well, Mr. Boudreaux, it doesn't work like that. You can't have the whole amount at one time, but we will pay you half a million a year for the next twenty years."

Boudreaux, upset, told the man, "Mais, no, sha, I won the lottery and I want all my money right now. I don' want to wait for twenty years to get it !"

The man tried to calm Boudreaux down, telling him that's how the lottery works. 

Boudreaux, really angry now, said, "Mais, if dats de way y'all wanta be, jus' never mind! Here's your damn ticket --- gimme my dollar back!"

 


 

Visiting Ireland, Boudreaux walked into a bar in Dublin, ordered three pints of Guinness and sat in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished them, he came back to the bar and ordered three more. 

The bartender said, "You know, Boudreaux, a pint goes flat after I pour it. Wouldn't you rather I pour fresh pints for you, one at a time?" Boudreaux replied, "Well, you see sha, I have two brothers. One is now in Nova Scotia and the other in France, and me, mais, I'm from Louisiana. When we all left home, we promised we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admitted that this was a nice custom and left it there. 

Boudreaux became a regular in the bar and always drank the same way: He ordered three pints and drank them in turn. One day he came in and ordered two pints. All the regulars noticed and fell silent, speculating about what might have happened to one of the absent brothers. 

When Boudreaux went back to the bar for a second round, the bartender said, "Hey, Boudreaux, I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

Boudreaux looked confused for a moment and then a light dawned in his eye, and he laughed and said, "Oh, no, no, no, arrybody's fine. I've just given up beer for Lent!" 

 


 

Mrs. Boudreaux went to the local newspaper and said she wanted to put in the obituary column that Boudreaux had died. They told her it would be $1.00 per word. She said, "Here's $2.00 - put in dere dat BOUDREAUX DIED. They said, "Mrs. Boudreaux, surely you want more dan dat." She said, "Mais, no, just Boudreaux died." The editor said, "Well, you're a little upset. Bring yourself back tomorrow and you will probably tink of somethin else." She came back the next day, and said, "Yeh, I taught of somethin else --- BOAT FOR SALE."




I hope you enjoy them.


Boudreaux and Thibodaux decide dey gonna go ice fishin.

Dey stop at a store on da side of da road and axe the cashier where dey can go ice fishin.
Da man says "there is a frozen lake across the road and I got bait and ice picks to break the ice to fish. "

An hour later Boudreaux goes to da store to buy some more ice picks. He tells the cashier "I want all the ice picks you got."

The guy says are "you catching that much fish?"

Boudreaux says "Catching fish?"
" We never even launch the boat yet"!


One day, a Cajun died and went to hell.
The devil was making his rounds and saw the Cajun over in the corner having a party. "Hey, you! said the devil. "You're not supposed to be having a good time in hell. After all, it's burning hot in here."

"Oh," said the Cajun, "It's not that hot in here. It gets this hot in Louisiana in July."

The devil left but was determined to make it uncomfortable for the Cajun, so he turned up the temperature even more.

Later the devil passed back by the Cajun and saw him boiling crawfish and having an even better time. "Hey!" said the devil. "You stop that! You're not supposed to be enjoying yourself in here. This is hell and it's burning hot in here."

"It's no big deal," said the Cajun. "It gets this hot in Louisiana in August."

The devil left very angry at the Cajun and determined to make him uncomfortable. "Okay," said the devil. "If you like the heat, I'm going to make it cold", and then turned down the thermostat until it was freezing cold.

When he went back to check on the Cajun, he saw from afar that the Cajun was jumping up and down in a frenzy, throwing up his hands, laughing and smiling.
"This is really too much!! Why is he so happy?"
As he got close to the Cajun, he heard him shout "The Saints won the SuperBowl!! The Saints won the SuperBowl!!"


Boudreaux and Thibodaux died and went to Heaven.
When they got to the Gate, they met ol' Saint Peter.
They said, "Saint Peter, beb, how you been?"
Saint Pete said, "Mais ok, sha, but ah got bad news for you Boudreaux. You been so bad on Earth, you got to spend all Eternity with an ugly woman."
Boudreaux was pretty sad but he said, "Well, if ah hafto, ah hafto."
So the next day him and his ugly woman was walking down the golden street when they saw Thibodaux and he was with Carmen Elecktra!
So Boudreaux went talk to Saint Peter. He said, "Saint Peter, sha, come see. Ah think we got a mistake here. How come Thibodaux gets Carmen Elecktra and Ah got stuck with dis ugly woman!"
Saint Pete said, :"Aw, Boudreaux, you dont understand, Carmen Elecktra got stuck with Thibodaux!"


From the Batron Rouge Advocate 1997:

You might be a Cajun if...

Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.

You think the head of the United Nations is Boudreaux-Boudreaux Guillory.

You think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.

You think boudin, hogshead cheese, and Bud is a bland diet.

You think Ground Hog Day and Boucherie Day are the same holiday.

You take a bite of 5 alarm Texas chili and reach for the Tabasco.

Fred's Lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.

You have an "envie" for something instead of a craving.

You use a No. 3 washtub to cover your lawn mower or outboard in your yard.

You use two or more pirogues to cover your newly planted tomatoes to protect them from a late frost.

You use a gill net to play tennis, badminton or volleyball.

The horsepower of your outboard motor is greater than the motor in your car.

You pass up a trip abroad to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.

Your favorite TV talk show is Okra Winfrey.

Your children's favorite bedtime story begins "First make a roux."

Your school teaches the four basic food groups as boiled seafood, broiled seafood, fried seafood and beer.

You're asked to name the four seasons and reply, "Onions, celery, bell pepper and garlic."

You're asked to name the Fab Four" and answer, "Paul Prudhomme, John Folse, Justin Wilson, and Vernon Roger."

Your description of a gourmet dinner includes the words "deep fat fried"

You let your black coffee cool and find it has gelled.

Your mama says every morning, "Well, I got the rice cooking, what we gonna have for dinner?"

None of your potential vacation destinations are north of the old Mississippi River bridge.
You refer to Louisiana winters as "gumbo weather."

You get a disapproving look from your wife and describe it as "She passed me a pair of eyes..."

You think of gravy as a beverage.

You greet your padna at the Lafayette Airport with "IiiiiEeeeeeeeeee!"

You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says "Don't eat the dead ones" and you know what he means.

You learned bourré the hard way, holding yourself upright in your crib.

You gave up Tabasco for Lent.

You know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue and zydeco.

Your dog thinks the bed of your pickup is his bed.

You can look at a rice field and tell how much gravy it will take to cover the rice.

You consider the four seasons winter, spring, summer, and hunting.

Your high school band's rendition of the national anthem begins, "Jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo..."

You stand up when they play "Jolie Blonde."

You consider Breaux Bridge the capital of the state, and Lafayette the capital of the nation.

You think the Mason-Dixon line is at Bunkie.





  • You consider gravy a beverage.
  • You think the Fantastic Four are:
          John Folse, Paul Prudhomme, Justin Wilson & Tony Chachere.
  • You see a Revival Tent and think "Festival."
  • Your childs favorite bed time story starts with "First you make a roux."
          (Base of flour and fat used to thicken and flavor many Creole and Cajun dishes.
  • You know the meaning of KEEYAW!
  • You have called someone a DOS GRIS(doe gree).
          (And Know what it means)
  • You think "Damn Yankees" live north of Bunkie.
  • You have had donuts & beer for breakfast.
  • You boat has more horse power than your car.
  • You start angel food cake with a roux.
  • Fred's Lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.
  • You use a Gill net for tennis, volleyball, & badminton.
  • You Know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue, & Zydeco.
  • You greet your friends with" A EEEE"!
  • Any of your dessert recipes call for Jalapenos.
  • You use your pirogues (pee-row) to protect newly planted tomatoes.
          Cajun canoe, originally made from a dug-out cypress log
          (small boat like a canoe)
  • Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.
  • You think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.
  • You think boudin (boo dan), hogshead cheese, & Bud are a bland diet.
          Boudin: Cajun-made sausage of pork and rice and spices.
          Sociologists recognize two major categories of Cajuns—
                the “River (for andouille) Cajuns”
                and the “Bayou (for boudin) Cajuns”
  • You add Tabasco to 5-alarm Texas chili.
  • You think Ground Hog day & Boucherie Day are the same Holiday.
          Boucherie (Boo-Cher-Ree) - A festive hog killing where neighbors are invited.
  • To you, the four seasons are onions, celery, bell pepper & garlic.
  • You have an "Envie" for something instead of a craving.
  • You pass up a trip to Europe to go to the Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival.
  • If you call winter time, gumbo, geaux geaux, & do-do weather.
  • You learned Bourre (BOO ray) while standing in your crib.
          Popular Cajun card game, sometimes called “Cajun Bridge
  • You think a 7-course meal is a 6 pack & a link of boudin.
  • You give up tabasco for lent.
  • You let your black coffee cool, and find it has jelled.
  • You know the four food groups as boiled, broiled, baked seafood & beer.
  • You can pronounce "Atchafalaya & Delcambre".
  • You look at a rice field and know how much gravy is needed to cover it.
  • Your mom starts the rice and asks "what do you want for dinner?".
  • Your gourmet recipes include the words"deep fat fried".
  • If your "other white meat" is frog legs or alligator.
  • The national anthem starts off," Jambalaya, crawfish pie, file' gumbo".
          Jambalaya: (jam-bah-lah-ya) A traditional Southern Louisiana rice dish.
          File': (fee-lay) ground sassafras leaves used to thicken and flavor gumbo.
          Gumbo: A deep rich Cajun stew often thickened with okra or file
  • You stand up & put your hand over your heart when you hear "Jolie Blonde".
  • Grits and Grillades (gree-yahds) are your most favorite breakfast.
          Beef or veal round steak, browned, then simmered until
          tender in browned tomato sauce, served over rice or grits.
  • You use Tasso & Andouille instead of Ham in your Beans.
          Andouille (ahn-doo-ee) Cajun sausage made with pork
          Tasso: (tah-so): Thin cut highly seasoned smoke cured ham.
  • Modem is something done to grass.
  • A mouse pad is a home for Mickey & Minnie.
  • A screen helps keep the bugs off the porch.
  • On line is where you stay during a field sobriety test.
  • Fax is what you lie about to the I.R.S.
  • Backup is what you do when you see a skunk in the woods.

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